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Thursday, July 17, 2008
erm... this post and the previous post(16 june) is link de ... so read both bah!! ... 

erm... i don know why this few days i cant be alone.. i think alot ... seems like there is no place for me to think or go.. honestly in my brain , there is no one to miss , no one to love . no one to care....

how i hope there is someone appear in my mind suddenly , to let me miss , care or love...... sorry to those friends that hav been showing concern to me... but i said that!! i APPRECIATE THE MESSAGE U ALL SEND ME... 

BUT... HONESTLY AR... i also didnt think my grandma or wat... honestly i refused to think... cuz i scare i think to much and alot... 

ya... sitting mrt alone.. then walk to the house.. i always like try to change my face... to show a better expression .... my life ,  hav been showing good expression even though i am sad...thats why everybody tot i very xing fu and i very happy abt my life , or cheerful person!! 

it should not be a big problem to me... but... things are different... no facial expression can come out from inside!! so i just hav to act doubly hard... 

i reached the house... i tok to my grand ma and good thingy is she seems better... she can tok to me.. loudly!! ....

very very happy abt it!! haha lol... finally smile inside... erm... however it didnt last long!! then actually this few days.. my uncles aunties all .. also got come.. like make my grand ma happy... like everybody come and see her!! 

but weirdly is.. everybody seems happy except me and grandma... i don know why!! she seems like more tired or like moodless to everything.. but in the afternoon still ok.. then i don seems to be happy because i don like the atmosphere... 

i don know how to explain.. but to me its just sad lor... JUST SAD... i cherish every moment i hav with my grand ma now... every seconds.. but weird thingy is .. i refused to stay there... and its like today 8 o clock i meeting this girl which wanna come out chat chat!!

so its like everybody , my relatives all this very funny.. then its like i sayang my grandma then waiting for 8 o clock... then its like i cant wait to trash everything out... 

haiz...i left the house... then rush to meet the girl!! she ask me not to mention her name.. cuz she scare kanna other girls beat or wat.. which is ridiculous lor.. cuz its like all friend ar... erm aiya i don know her lar.. 

i also cant be bothered ... but i really wanna thank her for giving the chance to make me trash out everything.. just everything... 

erm... actually after toking to her i feel so much better...but.. very sianz is.. 

when i become alone... EVERYTHING SEEMS TO RESTART... CAN EMO AGAIN... sad again... then refused to go home.. just wanna tok tok tok.. or think think think... 

then i don wanna sleep in my grandma house.. so i went home lor.. lucky .. got internet connection.. so now its like 4 am lor... then blog lor.. 

SORRY GUYS... LIKE THIS FEW DAYS DE.. BLOG SO BORING EH... sorry.. i cant helped it also.. bear with it can??!! u guys read my blog so long le.. erm let me emo emo few days hor... sorry!! 



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