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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

haiz... seriously i kinda of stress now eh??!! haha haiz... i don know lar... tomorrow going TOPLESS in front of so many ppl?? haha haiz... jk of the day eh??!! haiz i really don know how lor... seriously i don know wat wrong with my body eh??!! its just don seems rite ok??!! haiz... i think i am to stress already lar.... i KEEP ON TOKING TO MYSELF EH !! haiz... aiyo...

haiz i don know leh.. i cant sleep i am so into gunbound ... i don like such games eh... so childish.. waste of time... but i don know why i keep playing it to make myself not to think eh... wa this thingy is killing me... hope everything will be fine tomorrow eh??!! I HOPE REALLY HOPE LOR!!??

haiz i don know why lor... i seriously think that i am super UGLY until like no girls wants lor... haiz... no girls wanna then suan le then do things also so difficult... no confidence... wanna buy shirt all this also so difficult eh... this LOW SELF ESSTEEM IS KILLING ME EH??!! haiz wa...i just simply don know eh??!!

I HOPE REALLY HOPE!! TOMORROW MODELING WILL GO SMOOTHLY AT LEAST GOT GIRLS WILL SPOT ME... wa then NO PIMPLE FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS... because saturday i got another modeling session for another company... haiz.. that one photo shoot ... aiyo I DON KNOW HOW TO SMILE!! haiz

haiz actually another thingy is not really that stress lar...i more to sad eh... SERIOUSLY I AM NOT REALLY QI TAI my birthday eh??!!

not qi tai at all... lor... haiz... i don know why leh... i don know issit stress or sad... i am very confused eh... i don even know how am i going to celebrate my birthday!?!? WORST THINGY IS everybody keep asking ur BROTHERS EH?? haiz i know my brothers will be there for me eh!! but problem is i know their pattern de?!?!

before that night i am modeling and they will be there for me... to see me eh... but i also very scare but i really very happy they would come... but after that they sure club until very late de lor... then i know their pattern next day all sleep like pig until at night eh??!! MY BROTHERS PLAN TO CELEBRATE AT THE CLUBBING THERE??!!

but problem is can i enjoy?? haha haiz i don know eh.. i also don like drinking all this haiz... but actually for me rite?? that night they happy and be with me i happy liao.. how i feel don really matter much to me eh... i am a very realistic person... i don really care... so they happy jiu hao...and i know they will be very tired so i wanna them to rest and sleep!!

but afternoon leh?? seriously i really not expecting my birthday to come lor... and sometime i also don wanna it to come now eh... i don know why... its seems like no one will be there to celebrate with me haiz... i don know why when my birthday drawing nearer i really hope there would be a girl that really care for me eh... i don know why lar... maybe the urge of my dream is coming again??!!

i really really really hope i can celebrate my birthday with my gf eh??!! but of cuz day will be brothers... then night will be gf... if both together also can eh??!! haiz... aiyo... but this dream forever like cannot come true eh??!! haha but i know everybody will tell me one day it will eh..??!!

on eric birthday he said the speech made me cry cuz he and me really look alike only i more jia lat them him eh... haiz...seriously i don wanna like last time... for the 15 years i hav been celebrating my birthday alone... EATING MAGGIE MEE... nobody will know the pain eh... everytime i remember the few days and years i will cry...every year de birthday eh...never fails...

haiz maybe not so kua zhang lar 15 years... at the start pri 3 ... i starting having such birthday every year eh..my god parent had ask me how am i going to celebrate my birthday.. every year i blank... always waiting to celebrate for me or with me eh??!! haiz... but in the end all end up alone.. i eat maggie mee at home because i didnt wanna go down a see the outside world I JUST WANNA HIDE AT HOME!!

haiz i say all this rite just wanna say how i feel lar... friends pardon me ok?? i am sorry eh... i never never expect any one to pity me or ask me out after reading this eh... i hope my readers and friends know wat kinda of person i am eh??

i never expect much from my friends and brothers eh??!!just wanna them to be happy... and the purpose of writing the birthday list...

FIRSTLY : is ppl keep on asking me wat i wanna.. PURELY AR... I NOT SO BHB??!!

second: the wish list i hope to get present for my birthday.. is all the thingy i wanna long ago... eh... but i know not many ppl can afford... so i just type nia.. as i know there isnt anyone buying those things from me...

thirdly: i wrote those thingy i don wanna ... is because i really cant use it and i don wanna it...??!!

main purpose : everytime i buy something i will make sure i can make good use of it... if not i wont buy eh... so i don wanna my friends and brother which are buying things for me to waste their money cuz i might not use it and i cant keep it!!?? and everytime ppl buy for me things i will keep it safe but i make sure everytime i look at it... it will make me remind of the person??!!

for example: haha tong xin.. she is a nice girl ... never fail to forget my birthday... last year she baked cookies for me... i am kinda of sadded cuz the cookies cannot keep mah... but i kept the cookies jar.. rite infront of my bed... everymorning i wake up i will see the jar AND the woodo doll she gave me eh??!! haha

haha i really keep my stuffs well and every present i received from my brothers and friends i hope then really use their heart to think eh.. because when i buy present for ppl i use my heart to think very hard wat they can use and keep and show!!?? haha ...i also hope my brothers will do it eh??!!

haiz... but seriously i am very happy with my brothers as on my 16 birthday... they pei me go eat steam boat... and some friends gave me presentse eh... that was my most wonderfull birthday.. ever... not because is 16!! its the memories??!!

TO BROTHERS...??!! : SERIOUSLY AFTER I BLOG THIS , AND U ALL READ IT... pls don hav the thinking that i am hinting u all eh... seriously u all should know me le ... i am not that kinda of person .. is just that sometimes i see u all buy things for marcuz or anyone.. i never jealous just very envy eh... i also hope there is something for me to keep eh... i hope u all can give me a surprise as it is something which i really wanted... but if don hav its ok eh... at least i know u all are there for me eh??!! BUT IF U ALL REALLY BUYING DON BUY THOSE THINGS I MENTION I DON WANNA EH??!! PLS..erm cake got or not also the same lar.. but cake cannot keep or use!!

haiz really so not qi tai lor... whether got cake , present , ppl ask me out, haiz... all also don hav.. haiz... sobsob... i think so lar.. haiz nvm lor...

hey guys i shall blog till here... cuz briana ... head pain then she wanna read my blog then she wanna sleep so i blog till her today eh... actually there is more lar.. but i cannot so selfish.. even though is my blog eh??!! haha tata everyone...

hey guy i am sorry to repeat the birthday thingy but i updated again??!!

1st: i wanna my grandmother n my familys(including god parents and sister/brothers) n brothers(friends) , yingyin(cousin) to hav good health and succeed in life!! and live happily

2nd:i wanna clear n score well for my o lvls!! and do well in my sports!! go to poly!! succeed in life !!

3rd: i wanna be more handsome ,charming, cool, loveable,taller, etc eh!!

4th:i wanna get 1st in pool/snooker in a very young age!! n continue to be a CHAMPION!!

5th: I WANNA HAV A GF!! THEN MARRIED WITH ME N HAV BABIES!!(that means i hav to be strong and fit... upper part and lower part!! (erm sounds dirty !!)but i cannot be impotent!! hav to be big and strong (body n .....!!) don anyhow think...!!


lst:i wanna a laptop!!(val i am hinting u!! haha i know its kinda of impossible lar...so u think abt other thing norh.. but got laptop even better!! i wanna those real laptop hor!! don buy fakeones or toys!!)

2ND: i wanna sony mylo(its a hp just like psp!! erm only sold in japan!!?? hope to get it real soon eh??!!)

3rd : more limited edition stuffs eh!? like shoes , shirts, bags, and etc...something which i can use eh??!!so when i look at it... it will remind me of U!! (i like limited edition stuffs alot eh... my bag, my phone , my psp , even beyblade is limited edition de eh??!! alot eh?! ) but DON BUY!!...those ZINC BAG... WHICH PUT BIG BIG LIMITED EDITION!! NONSENSE SIA!! it must be nice ar??!! the design!!

4TH: if u really really really really don know wat to buy... actually can give me ang pow sia!! haah but the best is think wat to buy for me eh??!! ( i will be more happy ... as i know u all use ur heart to think and wat to buy for me...) choose this option unless bo bian eh??!!

5th: o ya!! i wanna ps3!! haha play station 3

6th: erm this is all the things i likes n i wanna lar... so u all go choose or think wat to give lor... but never give also ok lar..!!(pian ren de)!! haha...

7th:actually jeans or pants also can bah.. my size is exact is around 27-28... but if wanna buy de wa... i prefer size 30 eh??!! i can wear belt!!!

8th:i got psp le leh??!! but actually mp4 also not bad!! haha ipod video also can eh??!! haha


1ST: SOFT TOYS / toys!! (DON WANNA) cuz i am allergic to it??!! jus as long is soft toys i cannot sleep with it or play!! pls don buy... i might throw it away... cuz it will affect my face!! if not i give my daughter!!

2nd: CHOC AND SWEETS OR FOOD!!( I DON WANNA SUCH THINGY) cuz cannot keep or use... eat le jiu cannot rememeber u all le!? seriously don wanna eh??!!

3rd: PERFUME!!(I DON WANNA PERFUME!!) firstly i smell nice enough le!! second i hate the smell... don buy for me!! i wont use it!!??

4th: no earings eh??! no necklance!! (cuz i don hav ear hole!! no place to wear!! pls ar)

5th: no wallets ... i got alot le eh??!! pls no wallets !!

6th: no pencil box!! pls!! no no no!!

7th:no books!! i like to study but pls no books eh??!! pls ar??!!

8th:no hats!! cuz i totally don wear hate de!! pls!! no hats!!??

9th:no balls or sports... stuff... pls pls no no no!!

10th:no lighters !! no acohol!! pls ar??!! cuz i don smoke and i don drink!!! don wanna ar...!!no no no

11th:no pets ar!!nonono

12th: haha no billabong brands... or ripcurl..!! pls... don wanna!! wa lau!!

13th: no watches!! pls pls no no no no no no pls!!

14th:no birthday cards pls... i don know where to keep it??!!

15th: i don wanna any psp games!! eh??!!

16th: i don wanan those mini furniture or those put pens or will collect dust de... pls don ar??!! haha no cups all this pls!!??

done eh??!!



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